Fandom

SubGenius Wikia Clench

The Future

259pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Comments0 Share
Book from the future

In 1955, young Biff Tannen reads a book from the future, from 2015 - the Principia Discordia, hidden inside a sports almanac

The future has not happened yet, but due to Time Control, members of the Church of the SubGenius already know what is going to happen. For instance, on July 5, 1998, which is in the future, X-Day will happen as foretold. Some humans will survive on Earth, however, and eventually Bozos will take over the Earth and enslave the humans who got Left Behind after The Rupture. The most significant events of the future are documented in films such as Let's Visit the World of the Future that were filmed there and then sent back in time.

Also, the book Principia Discordia, published in the late 1950s, is thought to have been sent back in time from the future year 2015 to the past year 1955 by an elderly man named Biff Tannen, who gave a sports almanac from the future to his younger self, not realizing a copy of the Principia Discordia had been hidden inside the sports almanac by a rebellious young time-traveling Discordian named Marty McFly. While the sports almanac was ultimately found and burnt to a crisp by Marty McFly in 1955, the young Biff Tannen read the Principia Discordia, couldn't make any sense of it, and dropped it on the floor at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance, where 2 of his classmates at Hill Valley High School, Malaclypse the Younger and Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst, came upon the book from the future and decided to publish it themselves. They didn't manage to get it published until around 1957 or 1958, because the publishing industry found their material rather... odd. Thus the Discordian religion began by an "accident" involving multiple time travelers... an "accident" that was actually engineered by The Conspiracy for unknown reasons. This type of occurrence is actually the rule rather than the exception, when it comes to how The Future and Time Control work. Things like this happen all the time. It is likely a scheme of the rebel god NHGH, a product of the Negative Timestream who lives time backwards. But NHGH will never die as long as the Pinks live.

Vlcsnap-2011-06-23-22h59m56s94 small

future homes will be installed with their own McDonalds

The future is free of diseases. Its ruled by the bozos. There is digital foods and goods. Everyone is a hologram living like its 1988. YOU'RE ON A CRUISE! ALL EXPENSES PAID JUST DON'T PISS OFF THE BOZO SECURITY OR THE EYE OF TAXES AND YOU'LL BE FINE.  Brought to you by THE CONSPIRACY FOR BETTER ENVIROMENTS.

Three square meals, all the drugs you can ingest and about as much leisure time as you need. Cancer is the recomended guilty pleasure, but halucinations, and pure hysterical laughter are available everywhere.  Mind numbing happiness with a side of drama is the national past time as everyone ritualally enjoys sacrificing their free time and wages on alcohol which is supposedly more powerful and cheaper than ever.  

Cat matrix deja vu

de javu is the future's way of telling you "woah"

A time travelers acount of the futureEdit

Everything is holograms that you might get a glimpse into if the renders are malfunctioning.  There are many stairs and doors that lead to different realities, your girlfriends bedroom, and dimensions-ettes (a cinema style event you are meant to watch but not participate in), .  Just don't get lost or risk getting fucked up by roving clowns.

Driving all takes place on treadmills funded by the petrol lobbies.  Clean fuel energy resources are developed by think tanks but are not put to use (something that changes depending on the obsever and not the race),  Things like cold fusion, wireless energy, zero point energy, and Orgone all exist, & are still very big cornerstones in realities where the physical and spiritual connection activities between the perpetually stoned are so frequent.  

Escher-in-het-paleis-den-haag-1p-activity3674c-0-1-

typical house in the future

So lame right? Don't come here. . .

In the future robots do all the work for humanity. . . COMUNIST ROBOTS!  They are all controlled by the network and tend to be on the irratable side of things.  The TV execs of the past didn't want to share control of the world with anyone else so they came up with a plan to make robots your friendly pals who would do your luandry, mow the yard, cook your food, and even take a bullet for you without breaking a sweat.  The upside of which is that the only machines humans use are word processors. Everything else is maintained by machines that maintain other machines.  The future president of the world said:

Robots? They're 'great!  I let them rub my feet, give speeches for me, carry me around, and when it comes time for re-election I count on their vote
Sleeper 1

What is my purpose? To serve man.

So what do humans do in the future?  Most are artists and thinkers, while few are anything else.  Robots take over most functions of humans once The network designed Master Control, the master control computer, becomes sentient after it contracts Computer Herpes. (from Subgenius Micromachines)  And after it gets pertiturbed by the stupidity of humanity (don't we all sometimes) it tries to conqure the world in the robopocolypse/Judgement Day/Ragnarok.

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.