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SubGenius quotes

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This page is for quotes by and about SubGenii and the Church of the SubGenius. See also "Bob" quotes, "Connie" quotes, Ivan Stang quotes, and Philo Drummond quotes.

Quotes by SubGeniiEdit

Direct quotesEdit

  • "From now on, as of this moment, you can do whatever you want." Rev. Willie at Slack Attack Devival, Dallas, Texas
  • I'd rather be caught twixt a pair of scrapping bobcats than two women trying to run the same house. J.D. "Jed" Clampett in Jed's Dilemma (episode inspired by Connie and Bobra Dobbs living in the same house)
  • Nothing does the job like a Blow Job. (Bobra "B.J." Dobbs in ads for Blow Job hairdryers).
  • I think, therefore I'm going to have breakfast. Charles Fort ("Bob's" third cousin)
  • Many years ago, I was given a Church of the SubGenius membership by my sother. I didn't know what the church was, so read about it. It looked to me like an excuse for my man to quit his job, commit acts of violence, and have sex with anyone and anything without caring about how any of this would affect me. Maybe you can understand why this did not fill me with great enthusiasm for the church. I don't remember if I tossed the membership packet or burned it. Maybe I made him eat it. Pope Hilde
  • Deranged “edits” segue into a cascade of echoing glossolaliac madness, the voicing of lyric ruminations from the free-falling brains of disintegrating personalities. And some people, demented individuals, obsessively record every word and squealing sound effect. Of course, you may just hate it. (Dr. Howland Owll about his show Puzzling Evidence.)
  • By the age of 14, I was 5 feet 9 inches tall with a 36 inch bust, 18 inch waist, and 33 inch hips. And I wore a child's size 3 shoes. The boys loved me but the girls were terrible! They were so jealous they said I looked like a freak! (Barbara "Garbs" Dobbs, daughter of "Bob" and "Connie" and model for the Barbie Doll)
  • Gooble gobble, gooble gobble, we accept you, one of us. Freaks (film, 1932)
  • Sometimes it takes an asshole to bring all your shit together. JoX the Bobtist (1814 - 1941)

Interview selectionsEdit

Mark (interviewer): Some children have committed suicide by trying to hang themselves imitating Alice Cooper's stage act. If even one child committed suicide, is it all worth it?
Jason Hypercleets: No, ho, ho, no, no, thats not reality. If one person mistook what I was doing, which is a satire, for reality, no I do not accept that.
Mark: And if it were five?
Jason Hypercleets: You're kind of putting me on the spot.
Mark: Ten? Ten Thousand?
Mark interviewing Rev. Janor Hypercleets for Puzzing Evidence

Quotes about SubGeniiEdit

  • SubGenius literature describes a grand conspiracy that seeks to brainwash the world and oppress Dobbs' followers.
  • Personally, I think there is something very off with the "Church". However, one of the key tenets of the church is to bury criticism of it within mountains of disinformation! You'll read an amazing "expose" of the Subgenii, then find out it was written by one of the key members.

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