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Anons and Scientology

Anonymous shows its support for Scientology

Scientology is a real religion (and a cult) founded by the great religious prophet L. Ron Hubbard, (March 13, 1911 – January 24, 1986) who was best friends with J. R. "Bob" Dobbs and who got the idea to found Scientology from "Bob" in 1953. Scieology literally means "the study of science", which is EXACTLY what it is. It is based on the PROVEN SCIENCE of Dianetics, the work of L. Ron Hubbard, who was a great scientist and who used to write nonfiction books popularizing science for a general audience before he realized it was his destiny to found the ONE TRUE RELIGION, Scientology.

CelebritiesEdit

Scientology has many celebrities such as Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Greta Van Susteren, the late Isaac Hayes, etc. as members. The reason for this is obvious: celebrities are smarter than everyone else, so more of them have realized the OBVIOUS TRUTH of Scientology. Scientology has a Celebrity Center in Hollywood, but it isn't there to RECRUIT celebrities... in fact, it was created to accommodate the needs of celebrities who kept BEGGING to join Scientology and meet L. Ron Hubbard (who is widely regarded as a really cool guy). And needed some kind of center to deal with them.

Status: ActiveEdit

The Church of Scientology is well-known for being an entirely legal nonprofit TAX EXEMPT religious organization, which has never broken any laws, is not in the least bit money-grubbing, and certainly has absolutely no interest in collecting the entire life savings of people who join (but does so anyways). Scientologists are big believers in freedom of speech religion. And so they never try to silence critics (for fear of being sued) or sue anyone to make them shut up (where as if you are a life long member of the church they basically own followers and who may try to murder you if you reveal secrets). OF COURSE, They would NEVER do anything like that... Anyone who says otherwise is obviously a LIAR. And Scientologists NEVER lie about ANYTHING. It is forbidden in their religious practice. Scientology is also a big promoter of the field of psycho therapy, defending some psychiatry against its critics but mostly believing that its normal trash. This is due to L. Ron Hubbard's personal experience with psychiatrists, claiming they "saved my sanity... but not my insanity" and are "miracle workers for God". L. Ron Hubbard still regularly sees a psychiatrist, and attributes the benefits of psychiatry to why he is still alive and healthy today, and he and other Scientologists strongly promote that NORMALS see a PSYCHIST to promote better mental health (and mental health is something Scientologists have more of than anyone else).

The ConspiracyEdit

Scientologists are part of a larger organization known as The Conspiracy, which, in-spite of its ridiculous-sounding name, is actually a omni-pervasive self flagellating space crustacean, wholy (holy) divine in their own organization's eyes (Jesuits) and so self righteous that they think that humans exist to serve OTHER humans (be slaves). And a tax exempt ORGANIZATION at that!

Boy its funny how little a huge organization with so many people investing could just do its dirty laundry right out in the open. The Conspiracy (again, they never were the GOOD GUYS, just a collection of the people who still worship money like its their "God") has for years been scourging upon this Earth, taking bite after bite of the golden apple of Eden known as planet Earth. The little known group of Texas psychos known as the Church of the SubGenius really couldn't even match 1/10th of the control of the Conspiracy... Its like David and Goliath. The Church of the SubGenius, unlike Scientology, is a REAL money-grubbing mind-control UFO cult!!!! YOU CAN BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR ON THAT MY FRIEND!! AND IF YOUR MONEY AIN'T FLOWIN' TO "BOB" MY FRIEND YOU'RE GOING TO HELL!!!!!!

And Jehovah-1 rips its followers, known as SubGenii, off. the face of the planet. in the "RUPTURE." for all the money they have. is worthless when you're pure energy.
The Church of Scientology constantly uses lawsuits to silence anyone who D.A.R.E.S. criticize them, and has a well-documented history of illegal activity going back DECADES, making it NOTHING LIKE any old timey religion. A small number of celebrities were brainwashed into joining the Church of the Bong (The Dope Popes), Not that they would ever want anything but their money back... the result of J.R."Bob" Dobbs being murdered really put a nail in the coffin of trying to recruit ANY celebrities. Literally no one would join a death cult with a dead deity in 1986 (Except for a subgenii or yeti, praise "Bob").

Celebrities were clued into Scientology, their money would help the church; And how Scientology operates now. While money is shuffled around the organization. There are so many weird aspects of the church that they haven't revealed publicly. They are overly focused on their outward and intense appearance to the public. On the exterior it appears to be a mystery, wrapped, in a riddle, cradled and enigma. But on the inside its a pyramid scheme. Members getting members to recruit more members and buy more products.

Cuthulians, along with the old Anonymous crew (before they were arrested) and Wikileaks had been trying to raise awareness about the dangers of this cult for quite some time, "for the good of humanity," as some would say. For years this garnered little attention until the rise of the Anonymous hacktivist movement several years ago that would lead to massive protest against the legitimacy of the Church of Scientology and how it was not so secretly a huge tax dodge for celebrities.

AnonymousEdit

Anonymous's leaders voted to declare the Church of Scientology the biggest threat to humanity, and began a publicity campaign doxing the Church of Scientology, closely coordinated with no-one other than the internet.

Both Anonymous and the Church of Scientology are part of The Conspiracy now, that wonderful, benevolent organization that exists to benefit everyone. -Soros
Currently at this time, the leader of the Annon surrendered his botnet to the department of defense.
"The joint campaign between Anonymous and its Scientologist allies has resulted in both new memberships and donations to the Church of the SubGenius! But its almost going away completely, and over half the members of the Church of the SubGenius have realized the GLORIOUS error of their ways!!! KILLED THEMSELVES FOR "BOB;" to repent for their sins against the glorious Jehovah-1."
-alternate reality alien (who would never be caught dead in Conspiracy futureverse)
Anonymous, with its decentralized and paranoid leadership went underground. Several members went on record as breaking US and international laws thanks to closely coordinated activities within the government agencies such as the FBI, NSA, FIFA, PS$.but has moved onto other things (like Trump presidency) now that the Church of the SubGenius is almost gone we need donations now more than ever!! Now Anonymous' resources are dedicated from the needs of itself to activities such as defeating the efforts of non-capitalist systems of "non-free" but enterprising states. And apparently against the dirty hippies of the "Occupy" movement who secretly hope all of their bombs explode in their faces for making them in the first place. But not before co-signing the lease of a foreign minister of Pakistan and helping the government track down members of WikiLeaks such as Bradley Manning and Julian Assange, while exonerating the pedophiles, satanists, and petrophiles in the high offices of Washington.
always engaging in polite, civil discourse in its online communications. -Anonymous

Government religion and Church of the ScientologistEdit

Scientology, meanwhile, is recognized by every government around the world as a real, legitimate religion, (NWO style) and has become the religion for the vast majority of citizens in every Western US state (until you hit Vegas). This, combined with the fact that Scientology's leader L. Ron Hubbard is still alive and well (and is just in hiding) has resulted in L. Ron Hubbard becoming the most powerful supraego on Earth. Under his wise pupilage, we are all moving towards a New World Order of pay-4-hell, entertainment, Politically Correct gentrified culture, of non-understanding, thought control and a worldwide slavery, united in the belief that the greatest threat to humanity is still the Church of Christ, even though most of its members have converted to agnosticism, nihilism, Judaism or Islam.

HOWEVER! THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS WILL NEVER HAVE ITS FINANCES CUT OFF BECAUSE ITS NOT AN ORGANIZED RELIGION YOU DUMBSHIT, AND STILL!!!!! REMAINS A THREAT TO ALL HUMANS!! EVEN TO THIS DAY!
Having allied itself with a hostile race of aliens who threaten to destroy all life on Earth except for some, whom the they will arbitrarily spare but only because they are more focused on harvesting the two souls of humans. "The one's who rub parts together!!" (couples and married people) And when they carry out the vicious bloodbath, their leader, a notorious former Galactic Emperor, who was imprisoned for billions of years in an energy field (if you can believe that) on a remote prison planet (ok wow), but was recently freed by his followers to lead the attack on Earth in future 2045. (no shit.)

Luckily, that attack plan will be foiled, by the G-men who received the distress signal sent out by blubbering L. Ron Hubbard at Scientology World Headquarters, The generally peaceful race of aliens, who keep order throughout the galaxy, and punish evildoers, without execution, but with more humane imprisonment. The mission of the bozos is to protect and serve and ENSLAVE all minds of galactic intelligence, intergalactic-law-abiding planets (not earth of course) throughout the galaxy, spreading nanomachines to enslave, reduce, reuse, and reassemble all reality over and over again. The Yacatisma succeeded in stopping X-Day from happening BY DESTROYING THE EARTH BEFORE THE PLEASURE SAUCERS COULD GET HERE ON X-DAY with help from NHGH, the asshole worshiped by the majority of the population of Earth, as well as Lee Trevino, one of the first World Cup Golfers to become a follower of the Church of Yahweh.

After suffering an immense defeat, the X-ists signed a peace treaty with the Yacatisma agreeing to never engage in aggression again, and now Xenu and the X-ists are confined to Planet X, where they have to deal with intergalactic weapons inspectors searching for weapons of mass destruction, such as the fabled Bleeding Head of Arnold Palmer, a sacred ritual totem that is meant to be launched into the Sun. -Bobbies
The Bleeding Head of Arnold Palmer was used by members of the Church of the SubGenius and sold its useless curse to the fools over at Scientology Headquarters for they did not realize it had no significance, Space Bankers wanted to purchase it and J.R. "Bob" Dobbs sold it.

It was sold to them for a large sum of money, hundreds of billions of dollars. While most of these financial assets have been seized, that one sale ISN'T the only reason the Church of the SubGenius is being investigated today! Specifically a Pope "Bob" in California who died not to long ago under mysterious causes. BUT STILL LIVES IN ANOTHER DIMENSION! GHOSTS CAN POST ON THE INTERNET!

THIS IS EASY, COMEDY IS HARD! - Dead Pope Bob
The large sums of money were never seized but were instead re-embezzled. Countless countries involved had no comment.

"SUBGENIUS IS AN IMPROPER PROSPECTIVE FOR AN UNHEALTHY KIND" Edit

J. R. "Bob" Dobbs, the leader of the Church of the SubGenius, remains deceased from the law, wanted in the ground in 23 states (all of them really) for working for the "Bob" damn Conspiracy, and like Jim Morrison the whereabouts of his remains are unknown to the general public. Some claim he faked his own death in 1984 (Just like L Ron Hubbard, only 2 years earlier) in San Francisco to throw off the conspiracy jackals and the murderous Puzzling Evidence, but when he was within minutes of being apprehended at a SubGenius Devival, he was shot and killed on the spot. And since then, he has reportedly been seen hiding out EVERYWHERE. In a secret underground bunker somewhere in Malaysia known only as Dobbstown, his wife Connie and top lieutenants such as Rev. Ivan Stang and Dr. Philo Drummond still broadcast youtubes. Malaysia is one of the few nations where Scientology is not an accepted religious practice, and as a result the Church of Scientology is suspected to have closed ties to the Malaysian government. Malaysia has become the world's leading rogue nation for not accepting Rothschild banks. (It is common knowledge nowadays that ALL the central banks in the world (including Bank Negara Malaysia) is owned by the Rothschilds under the umbrella of the Bank for International Settlements (BIS) and that Scientologist have been welcomed in that country as well)

News 12/8/16: Because Malaysia now has the world's largest stockpile of theoretical nuclear weapons and ICBMs, war is not an option with Malaysia, and all diplomatic efforts so far by Scientology-led Western Oligarchy of the New World Order have been productive but stagnant (even with a new president). The Malaysian government seems to favor Beijing and China over the past few decades leadership in the Americas and Europe.

The Church of the SubGenius has reportedly cloned Adolf Hitler, and the clone of Hitler, who actually believes he is Adolf Hitler because they brainwashed him, is living in the underground within the society of the INNER EARTH.

His clone often goes on rants, many of which the Church of the SubGenius releases as propaganda videos to try to get new recruits, but these are usually unsuccessful, Hitler has always been an awful public speaker. Here is an example of one of these propaganda videos featuring the Hitler clone, which the Scientologist-run company Constantin Film AG has been trying to get taken off of YouTube:
Hitler versus Scientology - Extended Version05:23

Hitler versus Scientology - Extended Version


Luckily, Scientologists continue their noble cause of trying to stop the Church of the SubGenius in its evil plans, along with its X-ist allies, to kill all of the humans on Earth. If it weren't for the Church of Scientology and its continued leadership by L. Ron Hubbard, all of humanity would be dead by now and old Bronze Age religions like Christianity and Islam would still be commonplace on Earth rather than being replaced with the forward-thinking religion of Scientology. Scientologists will continue to defend the Earth and humanity against all threats, both internal and external, for the benefit of all. -You have to suck my dick if you love L. Ron Hubbard

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