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Prophet gathering children

A PreChurch Prophet of "Bob" rescuing children from their Slackless Pink parents.

Binky minnie rae panties

Binky the WonderSkull, skull of a PreChurch Prophet of "Bob", wearing The Lost Panties of Minnie Rae as an eyepatch.

A prophet of "Bob" (before 1953 typically written in plural as Prophetas Roberti), sometimes called prophet of Dobbs, could include anyone who truly prophesizes in "Bob"'s name. When capitalized as Prophet of "Bob", it usually refers to one of the Ten (or Thirteen) PreChurch Prophets of Bob (who came before "Bob" and thus didn't know to include the quotation marks).

Ten (or Thirteen) PreChurch Prophets of "Bob"Edit

The Ten PreChurch Prophets of "Bob" are the 10 primary people who prophesized the coming of "Bob" before he created the Church of the SubGenius in 1953 CE. However, some suspect there were actually 13 Prophets of "Bob", but that the 10th JoX the Bobtist killed numbers 11, 12, and 13 with the vorpal sword that slew the Jabberwocky, thus gaining all their Slack and extending es lifespan.

Some claim the first Prophet appeared in 1066 BCE while others give an earlier or later date. While most of their names are unrevealed, one apparently prophesized the coming of "Bob" in the Nazcal Scrolls (possibly also rendered as Nazgûl Scrolls). Another had the prophesized death of "Bob" entered into the Book of Coming Forth by Day aka the Book of the Dead.

Various prophets slipped in references of the Coming of the "Bob" in Nostradamus' Les Propheties; William Shakespeare's play Love's Labour's Won; and the Necronomicon by the "Mad Arab" Abdul Alhazred.

The best known Relic of the Prophets of "Bob" is the skull commonly called Binky the WonderSkull (not to be confused with the writer Binky The WonderSkull). This either belonged to someone who knew Abdul Alhazred, or to Alhazred himself.

The second best documented of the Ten (or Thirteen) named Eristotle (1752-1769) dictated the transcribed prophetic tome The Mythicism of Eristotle which unfortunately was never published, although selections do exist.

As the last major prophet before the birth of J. R. "Bob" Dobbs, the Tenth Prophet JoX the Bobtist is the most documented. The 64-year-old virgin Joanna Southcott, who was the woman prophecized in Revelation 12:1–6, gave birth to the hermaphromorphic Mandrake Southcott XL on 19 October 1814 CE in London, England. As several of her followers thought the infant was the second coming of Christ, Mandrake's birth was kept hidden (especially because the child appeared to be a girl albeit with an extremely large clitoris). As Mandrake's mother died on Christmas Day and many sought the child's death, Mandrake ended up being raised in America as Little Love Apple by the Fugawi Indian tribe where "she" was a favorite at the Playbrave Club.  "E" later became known as JoX the Bobtist.

JoX the Bobtist slipped in references to "Bob" in several poems and stories by Edgar Allen Poe, particularly the co-written "The Literary Life of Thingum Bob, Esq." Other references appear in Dr. Sinster Craven and charter Church member Toyalla's Esperanto translation, but not the original, of Der Librum de Vampyric Histroika (in Esperanto, La libro de la historio de la vampiro). There are also references to "Bob" in the original 1609 CE edition of the Authorized Version of the Bible, although most of these do not appear in the 1611 version.

The Anti-BobEdit

The last assignment of the 10th (or 13th) Prophet of "Bob" was to reveal the identity of the Anti-"Bob" right after Bobtizing "Bob". That prophet would then die very soon after, probably by beheading. (The Head of Jox the Bobist on a Silver Platter is destined to become a holy SubGenius relic). But as "Bob" has yet to be Bobtized, and as the Prophet is in no hurry to die, that revelation has yet to occur.

SourcesEdit

  • Revelation X: The "Bob" Apocryphon (1994)
  • X Mandragora Amore-Umbra (original publication date and authors unknown)
  • "The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath" by H. P. Lovecraft (written 1927; published 1943)
  • "The Gospel According to Philo" by Dr. Philo Drummond (1994)
  • The Charter of the Church of the SubGenius (1953; from copy made in 1957)
  • "FAQs of the Early Church of the SubGenius" by JoX the Bobtist (publication date unknown)
  • "Interview with JoX the Bobtist" by Pope Hilde & Miley Spears (2017)
  • "Interviews with Connie Dobbs" by Pope Hilde & Miley Spears (2017)
  • "Interviews with Barbara Dobbs" by Pope Hilde & Miley Spears (2017)

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