Philo Drummond

Dr. Philo Drummond, co-revivalist of the Church of the SubGenius.

These are quotes by and about Dr. Philo Drummond, a revivalist of the original Church of the SubGenius (1953, revived in 1979) and co-founder of the SubGenius Foundation (1980).

Quotes by DrummondEdit

  • I was crossing a country bridge with "Bob." There on that bridge, for no reason at all, I suddenly realized, as if in a flash of insight, that not only was "Bob" THE ONE, the SlackMaster, but also that this was my moment - my one chance to save the world from his presence. I knew, then, that I had to either kill him, or follow him blindly for the rest of my days. I could so easily have pushed him off of that bridge to his death in the gorge below! I had the chance!... but I chose instead to give over my life to him, and accept him as my Teacher, as long as he is on my side.
    • The Gospel According to Philo (event occurred in 1970)
  • They used a cross between a C-clamp and a Möebius strip to squeeze my testicles so hard that my head swelled up enormously. An instant later, when the Xist "demon" suddenly yanked itself out of me, the suction made my face cave in. I wasn't supposed to end up looking like this; I was supposed to resemble a super-enhanced version of myself - kind of "Bob"-like. But "Bob" was drunk during the ceremony. They were all drunk.
    • The Gospel According to Philo (on his elevation to OverMan; event occurred in 1978)

Quotes about DrummondEdit

See Jane.
See Dick.
See Jane see Dick.
Jane likes Dick.
Jane likes to play.
Jane likes to play with Dick.
Play, play, play.
See Dick like Jane.
Like, like, like.

See Sally.
See Sally see Jane and Dick.
Sally likes to see Dick.
Sally likes to see Jane play with Dick.
Hear Sally.
Hear Sally call Dick.
Come, Dick, come!
Come, come, come!
See Dick come!
Come, come, come!

See Philo.
See Jane and Dick and Sally see Philo.
Run, Jane, run!
Run, Dick, run!
Run, Sally, run!
Philo is a fucking weirdo.

Fun with Dick and Jane and Philo

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