"Perhaps the most intelligent life form on a distant planet was no larger than a flea. Perhaps no larger than a bacterium."
-- Dr. Peter Leavitt, clinical microbiologist on the Wildfire Project
A SACRED INFECTION Edit
THIS ONE'S GONNA BE BETTER!
Don't believe me? Listen up you might just DIE. . . Edit
Aww hell that ain't the truth, but you're gonna wish you had. Or just that you died in the Damn Rupture.
A serpent creature from Mars disguised as "Bob" created/observed a herpes zoster B virus infection with the face of "Bob." It was DEMANDED by powerful forces that it spread to every human. A unique strain of pathogen introduced into the DNA by the Nerrrgal, an agent of Pestilence ( of four horseman fame), the Y-ists and the Elder gods, to unlock the dormant "Cthulhuian" genes in every Yetisini.
A non-sentient/non-deterministic self-replicating STD virus reproducing in infinitude through time and peanut butter space. (WARNING: Stay out of crunchy Time space)
This lead to the sexual revolution of the apocalypse (Because once you know the world is ending, all bets are off) Eventually spawning the perfect mutated DNA sequence that would later consume humanity. Connecting millions of minds w/ "Cthulhu."
JR "Bob" Dobbs, was smart enough to end to this worlds awful obsession with Cthulhu the elder god and end the old Aeon. Praise "Bob" The former people were once human (they were soul drained) and were destroyed on X-day when the X-ists came in the pleasure saucers to take up all the dues paying members.
You got that right! Praise "Bob"!
A Cartesian product of two half right angles and two major angles is the 4th Non-octave to Bernoulli's 7th quadratic equation.
Boring. . . Hey let's liven things up! Edit
Could it be time to write more about the sacred malflictions of the Sub Genius!?
That's right there aren't many diseases anymore. Only Proto-diseases that man still continues to cling to... Imagine if you wont, that man is inferior to tiny particle species. And only limiting his time here on this Earth, because he intends to become Germ food...
To a Sub-Genius A "cold" or "the sniffles" are more real than tuberculous and rubella. Diseases and Virus are just the characterizations of microscopic organisms that science has coined as "harmfully reproductive." Either way you wouldn't trust the CDC as far as you could throw their yellow hazmats suits, so why trust them when Ebola comes knocking (Ebola that they were spreading through Africa). Diseases like Ebola, AIDS are just there for the media to scare you with into buying more sanitary wipes. And to keep you from knowing the truth...
That there is no disease and that the mind can't cure, even cancer.
Boy, if everyone knew that we could shut down the drug companies, health insurance, HMO's, doctors offices, nursing programs, medical schools and no one would ever get sick again. But "Big Sick" has the government in their pockets. Its too profitable to sell placebos for a thousand dollars a pill. Its a big scam and you ain't in on it.
So What Will We Do? Edit
Build better diseases of course. That's when the drug companies will come buying our placebos. We know that things like "Cat Scratch Fever" and "The Andromeda Strain" are a million times more infectious than any strain of Ebola or Anthrax produced by the conspiracy.