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Foot

Can you tell the difference between a human foot and a SubGenius foot gland?

The Foot Gland is one of the many striking physiological differences between SubGenii and humans.

The SubGenius foot is actually a complex gland used to subtly intuit the world around us. The Foot Gland is stimulated by Fluoride; this is the true reason that "Bob" sold the government on water fluoridation. Ancient SubGenii were well aware of the powers of exercising the foot gland, walking days at a time. In modern times, the foot gland was rediscovered by Dr. Philo Drummond and explained perfectly on his radio show ON THE ROAD in 1980:

…and they’d be JUST FINE if they’d only use that mystical bobgland in their foot, the one that’d TELL ’em what to do if they’d only THINK with it! When Man stands on his brain and thinks with his feet, THEN HE’LL KNOW EXACTLY WHICH WAY TO GO and how to FIND "BOB." You gotta MASSAGE that foot gland…and the only way to massage it is to WALK ON IT! Because when you’re walkin’… and "Bob"’s talkin’… you’ll know what to do, after the Holocast, after the Aliens come and give us all those GIANT PILLS, and all them machines that’ll run our lives and that BIG WHITE STONE that everybody’s gonna know PERSONALLY in their very own living rooms. That’s the stone that you think you might know and you think might HELP YOU, but BY GOBBS, that’s the Stone that’s gonna ruin your VERY LIFE! You think you know who Big Brother is? HAHAHA. Dear friends, I wanna tell you tonight, YOU DON’T KNOW! YOU DON’T KNOW NOTHINT’!

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